In my interactions, fear arose this weekend both in my relationship with my boyfriend and in my professional career. This fear grabs me and forces me into this ball of confusion, causing words to become unclear, communication compromised, and a space where I Jodet, get lost…forgotten, and in turn become dishonest in my responses.
I am a great communicator, that girl who puts a smile on people’s faces, and who embodies the mission of creating positive human connections at work, daily. Communication is not the problem in this equation. People love me.
It’s fear. Fear that takes over and takes life in the form of a girl who can’t express what she wants. Fear in the form of abandonment.
Goodbye mr.fear, your time has come to leave.
So much of my life is spent accommodating others, that’s how I try to make a difference in people’s lives. I forget that people will respect me more if I speak my truth, not because I maintain the peace, the quiet, and live life pretending I am fine. This doesn’t teach anyone anything, and it certainly does not help anyone grow. The only way one will bring VALUE to what he/she has to say is if they speak their truth, remembering not to compromise what is most important. In my life, I value openness, focus, love, integrity, fairness & energy. I want to stay true to all of this.
I know that the path to growing up, becoming confident, and bringing what the world needs most of you to fruition is not an easy-etched…path. Someone gave me valuable insight about the painful reality of coming into my own this weekend: She said, “Own all of it.” By all of it, she meant the pain, the fear, the struggle, the triumph, the confusion, and even the sadness. It’s all mine. The truth is, it may well easily take me a while to overcome all of this, but at least I realize it all at 29. And for that, I am grateful.
In other words, from this day forward, I want to try and live my life being honest and without compromise of the values I feel are the most important to me. I’m worth it and my heart is worth the hard work. After all, it’s the only one I have.
So in the meantime, my mantra to anyone reading this is:
Say it loudly, say it clearly, say it confidently & say it with intention. The rest will come.